Thursday, 28 January 2016

Is your anger like Soda Water or Fevicol?




An interesting topic, you may have read about anger already.

Things like

    Anger is bad

    It causes blood pressure

    It leads to heart attack

    It can lead to loss of concentration, etc.

We know all this, don’t we? So we will not look at what you know but what you need to ponder upon.

The two items mentioned above i.e. Soda Water and Fevicol also needs a thought over.

Let’s look at each of the items and dive into our own outlook.

Soda Water

This is a drink which has a fizz to it into which carbon dioxide gas under pressure has been dissolved. When we open up the soda bottle, we see the gas fizzing out of it and the water being left inside thebottle. Soda has its ill effects on the teeth, which we use to chew our food before it goes into thestomach. The soda leads to the erosion of the teeth as it makes the teeth weak.


Fevicol (A well know glue)


It is a glue, which has been in the Indian market for a long time as a trusted brand to stick various things. It is a white adhesive paste which is used for bonding paper, cardboard, thermocol, fabrics, wood, plywood etc. It is known for its attributes like bonding strength, impact resistance, time to set, versatility, fire resistance, shock and vibration resistance, etc.
So we now know what both the items are so we can draw some comparisons to see why anger has been compared to both these items but let’s look at a small story on anger first.
A Short Story


There once was a little boy who had a bad temper. His father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the fence.
The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence. Over the next few weeks as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily, gradually dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence. Finally, the day came when the boy didn’t lose his temper at all. He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pulls out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper.
The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone. The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence. He said “you have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one.”
Moral: You can put a knife in a man and draw it out. It won’t matter how many times you say I’m sorry, the wound is still there. Make sure you control your temper the next time you are tempted to say something you will regret later.
I am sure that this story was an eye opener and will allow you to relate to yourself.
Soda Water Anger


We saw that soda is a fizzy drink which when opened puts out the gas and the water gets left behind. In the same way, when we don’t like something or something is not as per our expectation then we also have a burst of anger which spreads the vibrations of anger in the surrounding around us which restricts conversation and gives birth to stress.
Example:
You had to go out somewhere and you were depending on a family member. The family member was out and arrived home late. Now the first reaction on his/her arrival will be a burst of anger because they are late and it has disrupted your schedule. You had the option to take a public vehicle as the work was important but you decided to wait. Here, what created the reaction was your expectation or your dependence on someone.
Once this incidence was over, the person arriving late informed you that he/she had a flat tyre and it took time to get it repaired. Imagine yourself after you listen to this.
You will feel awful at how you just reacted without knowing the facts. I am sure you will say sorry instantly but what you have left behind is a fear of your reaction and a gap in your smooth relationship.



Fevicol Anger


You must have heard a slogan in the ads of fevicol which said: “Fevicol aisa jod lagaye, ache se acha na tod paye” (Fevicol sticks things in such a way that even the best effort can’t break the bond). This type of anger is very dangerous. You can say it’s like a Secret Agent which keeps a watch on every move of the person for which you have such anger. I am sure many of us would come in this category.
Example:
You were at the office and assigned some work. You did the work to the best of the ability but made some mistake which your boss noticed. Your boss called you and shouted at you in front of the team. It can be very insulting at times but you can’t react as he/she is your boss. Now, though you have not reacted on the outside, there is one thought which your mind has planted inside i.e. “Let the time come again and I will strike back” or “Before I leave the organization, I will ensure I will expose him or cause some harm to his image”. This is internal anger which is more dangerous as you are holding it back inside. Every time you see your boss, the thought of anger will appear inside. You will not even want to deliver the work given by him on time. You will not leave any chance of gossiping about him, no matter what.
Which is better?


If you ask me, I would say that in the short term the soda water anger in some cases is better as it’s a reaction of the moment but it dies down within a few minutes, hours or a day. While the short term anger may just be to explain someone something but you may not hold something back inside you.
In the other case, the fevicol anger is dangerous because you are holding back feelings of revenge which is a negative feeling that destroys your nature of love and peace which are the original nature of the soul. This is also a long time anger which can go on for months, years and in some cases even until you live.
Some tricks to avoid anger
    Walk away from the situation
    Count till 10
    Take a deep breath
    Go out for a walk
These are a few tricks you can use but the best option is

Advantages of Meditation
    It can lower pain levels by 57 percent. This is because
      meditation is found to lower activity in the
primary
      somatosensory cortex, which is the part of the brain
      that creates the feeling of where the pain is located
      and the extent of the pain.
    Meditation boosts the immune system
    Meditation has been found to treat insomnia
    Meditation increases concentration level
    People practicing meditation regularly have thicker cortex,
      which is part of brain associated with
memory and decision-
      making
   Guided meditation helps patients suffering from depression
    It increases our self-awareness levels
    It makes you a better listener
    You will be more happier as you are more calmer
    It helps you increase your confidence
If you become self-aware then, you will be able to control your reactions. Anger is nothing but the reaction to a situation. You can’t change the situation but you can definitely change your response.

The biggest expenditure that people face these days is health expenses. Now if you learn to control your anger and leave the negative feelings rather than live with it, you will be much happier.

Let your D-Decisions not lead A-Anger otherwise, it becomes DANGER.
Do let me know what you feel and share if it can be useful to someone.


Saturday, 16 January 2016

A guide to CHANGE MANAGEMENT



















Do you or have you ever heard yourself or anyone else speak

the sentence “I need a change”. So what do we do when we

feel like that?

Let’s look at a few reasons why change is required
    
     1)    For Harmonious Relationships
     2)    For Dealing with Situations
     3)    For Better Health
     4)    For going from CAN I to I CAN attitude

The first step is to identify the reasons and then decide on what

influences us to not make the changes which are required for a

better life. I am sure that you may also face the question like

Why Me?













Example:

I don’t get irritated or angry without any reason. He/She does

something I don’t like which makes me react. I will change

only if he/she changes himself/herself.

            
Question's to ask yourself

 
  •      Is reacting or getting angry changing the situation?
   
  •      Has any war in the world ever been won by

    aggression?
   
  •      Is it easier to change others or myself?















The classic example of this was Gandhiji who took the path

of NonViolence. He also had the option to go to the court

and file a case when he got insulted in South Africa.

He was a lawyer, educated and had the power to challenge

the law. He still decided to take the nonviolence route as

it was not for him but many other Indians who were

facing the same behavior from the British government.

When you go for a change, it has a lot of roadblocks but

it is the mind which needs to support your decision.














Many changes have started on a Lonely Road and then

gathered momentum. Let’s look at a small story

A Small Story:

Once there was a farmer in the village who used to make

butter and curd from milk and sell the same.


One day his wife made butter and gave it to him, which

he took and went to the city to sell it. The butter was in

round shape cup and each weighed 1 kg. 
In the city, as

always he went to a shopkeeper and sold off the butter

cups and in return bought the household goods like oil,

sugar, tea bags, soaps, etc. and returned back to the village.



Once the farmer went away, the shopkeeper started keeping

the butter cups in the freezer. Just then he thought that, why

not weigh the butter cups? To his surprise, the cup weighed

just 900gms. He then weighed the other butter cups but all

were weighing 900gms. He felt cheated.


The next week again the farmer came to sell the butter to the

same shopkeeper. As he stepped into the shop, the

shopkeeper shouted at him. “Get Out” I don’t want to deal

with a cheat. You sold me the 900gms cup of butter saying

that it weighed 1Kg. I don’t want to see your face.


The farmer, then with humility said, “Sir, don’t be angry with

me”. We are poor and helpless. We don’t have a weighing

machine to measure the cup as we can’t afford it. The 1 kg

sugar that I take from you always is what I put in one side

of the weighing plate and put the same weight butter cup in

the other weighing plate.


Moral of the story: Check yourself before you blame others.

I am sure that this story has conveyed the message that what

needs to be done with the self before 
we can expect change

from others.

4 changes which can help bring the change

1) Change your company












They say a man is known by the company he keeps. Having the

company of the right people is very important. Getting

influenced these days is very easy so we need to check if the

company we have is, propelling us forward or is the anchor of

our life’s ship grounded.

Example:

You may be getting shouting from your mother every day for

coming late. You may also realize the same but when you are

with your friends, they will say, “You are a Guy and not a Girl.

Girls go home early. This is actually a negative influence but if

you want to change then no one can influence you. Also it

depends on which relationship you value more.

A few other Relationships where this happens
  •      Boss and employee
  •      Husband and wife
  •      Teacher and student

2) Change your intake













What I mean by intake is the information you take in first

thing in the morning. The situations are not in our control.

What we can control is the intake that we get first up when

our mind is like a blotting paper, fresh and clean, looking

forward to a new day.

Listening to something positive or reading a good book can

be the best intake. Going for a walk and taking in fresh air

and sunlight are also other options which can be considered.

A Strict No-No can be (At least until 8 am)

  •      Television (Exception: A Spiritual/Religious talk)
  •      Newspaper
  •      Magazines (Exception: Spiritual Magazines)
  •      Novels (Exception: Autobiography of a Great Person
                   /Saint)

The reason is very simple. All the exceptions are going to

give you some positive input. If your mind is filled with

the positive input then anything you take in thereafter will be

information and not influence your mind.

3) Change your Mindset

















Changing the way you think can have some really positive

effect on your personality. This can be done with a few

affirmations when you wake up because the first few

minutes are crucial.

Affirmations Like:
  •      I am the best
  •      This is going to be my day
  •      I will bring a smile to people’s faces
  •      I will do no wrong
  •      I will do what gives me happiness without hurting
         others


You can add more as per the situation and liking. I am sure
that the first 3 would be easier but the next 2 can be sometimes

easier said than done. Let’s look at examples in case of 4 and

5.

Example: I will do no wrong

Imagine you made a mistake in some MIS which had to be

submitted to the Higher Management. You made a mistake

which you are aware of but you pass the buck that the data

received 
was incorrect. The fear of getting shouted can make

you tell a lie but it’s better to be truthful. You may get shouted

at, but it will a) Improve your work ethics b) It will improve

the quality of your relationship and make it transparent.

Example: I will do what gives me happiness without
                 hurting others

You called your subordinate for a meeting. In the past he

would have told 
you about a certain thing he intends to do

which he has not been able to do due to some personal

reason you may be unaware of. You do not share a 
good

rapport with him/her. Now you can either finish the meeting

and get on with your work or make a mockery of what he said

in the past. It may 
irritate your subordinate but he may not be

able to respond back with the 
fear of a revolt or losing his job.

Here we need to understand that all are 
humans with feelings.

We should try not to hurt someone and be aware of what we


speak. Tongue has no bones but it can easily break your

relationships.

4) Take time with yourself


















A man can be his own friend. I have read somewhere that it

is better to be alone than to be around with Negative people.

It does not mean that we avoid people. All we need to

do is understand what we are grasping from them. It is also

seen that when we look at someone’s weakness for very long

then it soon becomes a part of our nature. That’s why it is

important to spend time with yourself each day. 10 minutes

before sleeping is a good time.

What can you do?

  •      Look at yourself and remember the things which

         were not so good and things which were good.

         You could have had a bad day at work but there

         could be something good. 
    Learn to look at the silver

         lining in the dark clouds.



  •        Think of what will you change tomorrow which makes

         it a better day.

  •      Thank GOD for everything you have. After all, it’s the

          best way to show gratitude to our Spiritual Father.


Changing oneself is a tough task but we have to start

somewhere. After all the best comes out only when

we move out of our comfort zone.












WHEN THE GOING GETS TOUGH… THE TOUGH

GETS GOING

Here’s Wishing you all the very best for a NEW YOU






























Sunday, 10 January 2016

5 stories that will change the way you use mobile phone
















Do you ever wish that you were a mobile phone? I am sure at the rate with
 
which the mobile phones have entered our lives and disturbed our
 
relationships you would definitely love to be a mobile phone.

Mobile phones came into our lives and changed the way we communicate.
 
I feel that it was made to ease communication and to add mobility. It could
 
also be made, keeping in mind a way to track your loved one. Who knew
 
that someday it would increase the distances between our relationships
 
and take us mentally away from the loved ones. It has created such a big
 
gap in our relationships and our thoughts that it sometimes becomes more
 
important even during a family function, outing, etc.

Can we say that it has become like a family member? We eat, sleep, walk,
 
play, talk, work but the constant companion in all these activities is our
 
mobile phone. Let’s look at a few examples and you may get a clue of the
 
invasion it has made.

A Child’s Voice

Rita was planning an outing with her friends at a mall. She was very
 
excited but also upset as she could not go as she had a small daughter
 
called Victoria. She called her friends and told her that she could not come.
 
Her friends gave her the idea to bring her daughter along. She agreed and
 
took her daughter along. The mall was at some distance from home but
 
Rita decided to walk. Just as she moved out of her home she got a call
 
from her friends and she was on the mobile phone with Victoria on her
 
side. Victoria as a small kid was very curious and was looking at the fun n
 
fair which was across the road. She was trying to pull Rita’s attention
 
to the fair but Rita was busy on the phone. Suddenly, Rita heard a sound
 
which scared her.













It was a screeching sound of the car which stopped just 2 feet away from
 
Victoria. Her heart was pounding hard and she just realized what she was
 
about to lose. She quickly hugged the crying Victoria and said sorry, my
 
love. Just then Victoria said to her mother in her soft voice
"Wish I was a Mobile Phone"

A Girl’s Voice


Michelle was a lonely girl and all she wanted was company. She had been finding
 
someone for a long time. A Fun and Fair was organized in her area which she
 
decided to attend. As she entered, she looked at the swings, shops, candies and
 
all the things that were pulling her eyes. Just as she was looking around, the
 
thought that always keeps hitting her mind came up and she started finding
 
someone she could be friends with. Just as she thought, she saw a boy running
 
towards her and she was delighted by the sight. As the boy came closer, she
 
smiled but the boy passed her and was running towards a stall. His friends were
 
also running behind him cursing him that he was here for enjoyment and not for that
 
stall. Michelle turned back and saw a big board which said "Love Mobiles? Win an
 
IPhone"


 

















Michelle in a heavy voice feeling dejected said to herself "Wish I was a
 
Mobile Phone"

A Man’s Voice


Chris woke up late and guess what? It was 9 am and he was late to office. Lily, his
 
wife had prepared the breakfast but Chris had to rush to office. He was feeling bad
 
that he could not have breakfast with Lily as he was late. Lily was a good wife but
 
had just too many friends. She loved to be on the Whatsapp (A popular messenger)
 
for hours and sometimes even missed doing her basic chores at home. That day
 
Chris got a promotion and he was very happy. He tried calling Lily a few times but
 
her phone was busy. Chris was so excited that he went home early that day and
 
wanted to have dinner with Lily. Lily had been busy on Whatsapp as her friend had
 
got a master’s degree so her friends were planning for a meet and giving
 
suggestions on Whatsapp.















Chris was excited to give Lily the news of promotion but she was so busy
 
that Chris in an irritated voice said to Lily "Wish I was a Mobile Phone"
 
and felt asleep.

Teacher’s Voice

It’s a tough job for John as a teacher, especially when the students are in higher
 
education. He always has a smiling face and loves to teach. As always, John was
 
teaching his class but a few students as always were busy on their mobile phones
 
without paying attention in class. It made John a little sad as he was remembering
 
his old days. It was also Teacher Day but none of the students realized and were
 
busy listening to music. Just then there was an announcement on the radio which
 
made the students feel ashamed of themselves as it was news of teacher’s day
 
celebration in other colleges.















They went and wished their teacher "Happy Teacher's Day", but with a sad
 
look on his face he told his students, "Wish! I was a Mobile Phone".

God's Voice

Sameer was an Excellent Manager and had very few friends. He loved working and
 
keeping in touch with friends. He also loved upgrading his mobile phone. Morning
 
used to start looking at mobile and night used to end by looking at mobile. Life was
 
moving smoothly when suddenly he lost his job and also lost his friends as he was
 
short on money. All the friends had left him and he was very stressed. As he was
 
finding a solution to de-stress, his neighbor suggested him of meditation. He took
 
up the idea which needed to sit in silence and listen to himself and GOD. The
 
problem though was that he could not leave his mobile aside when he sat for
 
meditation and hence could not catch signals from GOD. That's when GOD thought
 
that humans were given gadgets to use and not get so used to that it disrupts their
 
communication with their Supreme Father and even GOD had to say

 












"Wish! I was a Mobile Phone"

Do let me know if you agree...