Do you or have you ever heard yourself or anyone else speak

the sentence “I need a change”. So what do we do when we

feel like that?

Let’s look at a few reasons why change is required
     1)    For Harmonious Relationships
     2)    For Dealing with Situations
     3)    For Better Health
     4)    For going from CAN I to I CAN attitude

The first step is to identify the reasons and then decide on what

influences us to not make the changes which are required for a

better life. I am sure that you may also face the question like

Why Me?


I don’t get irritated or angry without any reason. He/She does

something I don’t like which makes me react. I will change

only if he/she changes himself/herself.

Question's to ask yourself

  •      Is reacting or getting angry changing the situation?
  •      Has any war in the world ever been won by

  •      Is it easier to change others or myself?

The classic example of this was Gandhiji who took the path

of NonViolence. He also had the option to go to the court

and file a case when he got insulted in South Africa.

He was a lawyer, educated and had the power to challenge

the law. He still decided to take the nonviolence route as

it was not for him but many other Indians who were

facing the same behavior from the British government.

When you go for a change, it has a lot of roadblocks but

it is the mind which needs to support your decision.

Many changes have started on a Lonely Road and then

gathered momentum. Let’s look at a small story

A Small Story:

Once there was a farmer in the village who used to make

butter and curd from milk and sell the same.

One day his wife made butter and gave it to him, which

he took and went to the city to sell it. The butter was in

round shape cup and each weighed 1 kg. 
In the city, as

always he went to a shopkeeper and sold off the butter

cups and in return bought the household goods like oil,

sugar, tea bags, soaps, etc. and returned back to the village.

Once the farmer went away, the shopkeeper started keeping

the butter cups in the freezer. Just then he thought that, why

not weigh the butter cups? To his surprise, the cup weighed

just 900gms. He then weighed the other butter cups but all

were weighing 900gms. He felt cheated.

The next week again the farmer came to sell the butter to the

same shopkeeper. As he stepped into the shop, the

shopkeeper shouted at him. “Get Out” I don’t want to deal

with a cheat. You sold me the 900gms cup of butter saying

that it weighed 1Kg. I don’t want to see your face.

The farmer, then with humility said, “Sir, don’t be angry with

me”. We are poor and helpless. We don’t have a weighing

machine to measure the cup as we can’t afford it. The 1 kg

sugar that I take from you always is what I put in one side

of the weighing plate and put the same weight butter cup in

the other weighing plate.

Moral of the story: Check yourself before you blame others.

I am sure that this story has conveyed the message that what

needs to be done with the self before 
we can expect change

from others.

4 changes which can help bring the change

1) Change your company

They say a man is known by the company he keeps. Having the

company of the right people is very important. Getting

influenced these days is very easy so we need to check if the

company we have is, propelling us forward or is the anchor of

our life’s ship grounded.


You may be getting shouting from your mother every day for

coming late. You may also realize the same but when you are

with your friends, they will say, “You are a Guy and not a Girl.

Girls go home early. This is actually a negative influence but if

you want to change then no one can influence you. Also it

depends on which relationship you value more.

A few other Relationships where this happens
  •      Boss and employee
  •      Husband and wife
  •      Teacher and student

2) Change your intake

What I mean by intake is the information you take in first

thing in the morning. The situations are not in our control.

What we can control is the intake that we get first up when

our mind is like a blotting paper, fresh and clean, looking

forward to a new day.

Listening to something positive or reading a good book can

be the best intake. Going for a walk and taking in fresh air

and sunlight are also other options which can be considered.

A Strict No-No can be (At least until 8 am)

  •      Television (Exception: A Spiritual/Religious talk)
  •      Newspaper
  •      Magazines (Exception: Spiritual Magazines)
  •      Novels (Exception: Autobiography of a Great Person

The reason is very simple. All the exceptions are going to

give you some positive input. If your mind is filled with

the positive input then anything you take in thereafter will be

information and not influence your mind.

3) Change your Mindset

Changing the way you think can have some really positive

effect on your personality. This can be done with a few

affirmations when you wake up because the first few

minutes are crucial.

Affirmations Like:
  •      I am the best
  •      This is going to be my day
  •      I will bring a smile to people’s faces
  •      I will do no wrong
  •      I will do what gives me happiness without hurting

You can add more as per the situation and liking. I am sure
that the first 3 would be easier but the next 2 can be sometimes

easier said than done. Let’s look at examples in case of 4 and


Example: I will do no wrong

Imagine you made a mistake in some MIS which had to be

submitted to the Higher Management. You made a mistake

which you are aware of but you pass the buck that the data

was incorrect. The fear of getting shouted can make

you tell a lie but it’s better to be truthful. You may get shouted

at, but it will a) Improve your work ethics b) It will improve

the quality of your relationship and make it transparent.

Example: I will do what gives me happiness without
                 hurting others

You called your subordinate for a meeting. In the past he

would have told 
you about a certain thing he intends to do

which he has not been able to do due to some personal

reason you may be unaware of. You do not share a 

rapport with him/her. Now you can either finish the meeting

and get on with your work or make a mockery of what he said

in the past. It may 
irritate your subordinate but he may not be

able to respond back with the 
fear of a revolt or losing his job.

Here we need to understand that all are 
humans with feelings.

We should try not to hurt someone and be aware of what we

speak. Tongue has no bones but it can easily break your


4) Take time with yourself

A man can be his own friend. I have read somewhere that it

is better to be alone than to be around with Negative people.

It does not mean that we avoid people. All we need to

do is understand what we are grasping from them. It is also

seen that when we look at someone’s weakness for very long

then it soon becomes a part of our nature. That’s why it is

important to spend time with yourself each day. 10 minutes

before sleeping is a good time.

What can you do?

  •      Look at yourself and remember the things which

         were not so good and things which were good.

         You could have had a bad day at work but there

         could be something good. 
    Learn to look at the silver

         lining in the dark clouds.

  •        Think of what will you change tomorrow which makes

         it a better day.

  •      Thank GOD for everything you have. After all, it’s the

          best way to show gratitude to our Spiritual Father.

Changing oneself is a tough task but we have to start

somewhere. After all the best comes out only when

we move out of our comfort zone.



Here’s Wishing you all the very best for a NEW YOU

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