Do you or have you ever heard yourself or anyone else speak
the sentence “I need a change”. So what do we do when we
feel like that?
the sentence “I need a change”. So what do we do when we
feel like that?
Let’s look at a few reasons why change is required
1) For Harmonious Relationships
2) For Dealing with Situations
3) For Better Health
4) For going from CAN I to I CAN attitude
The first step is to identify the reasons and then decide on what
influences us to not make the changes which are required for a
better life. I am sure that you may also face the question like
Why Me?
influences us to not make the changes which are required for a
better life. I am sure that you may also face the question like
Why Me?
Example:
I don’t get irritated or angry without any reason. He/She does
something I don’t like which makes me react. I will change
only if he/she changes himself/herself.
something I don’t like which makes me react. I will change
only if he/she changes himself/herself.
Question's to ask yourself
- Is reacting or getting angry changing the situation?
- Has any war in the world ever been won by
aggression?
- Is it easier to change others or myself?
The classic example of this was Gandhiji who took the path
of NonViolence. He also had the option to go to the court
and file a case when he got insulted in South Africa.
He was a lawyer, educated and had the power to challenge
the law. He still decided to take the nonviolence route as
it was not for him but many other Indians who were
facing the same behavior from the British government.
When you go for a change, it has a lot of roadblocks but
it is the mind which needs to support your decision.
Many changes have started on a Lonely Road and then
gathered momentum. Let’s look at a small story
gathered momentum. Let’s look at a small story
A Small Story:
Once there was a farmer in the village who used to make
butter and curd from milk and sell the same.
One day his wife made butter and gave it to him, which
he took and went to the city to sell it. The butter was in
round shape cup and each weighed 1 kg. In the city, as
always he went to a shopkeeper and sold off the butter
cups and in return bought the household goods like oil,
sugar, tea bags, soaps, etc. and returned back to the village.
butter and curd from milk and sell the same.
One day his wife made butter and gave it to him, which
he took and went to the city to sell it. The butter was in
round shape cup and each weighed 1 kg. In the city, as
always he went to a shopkeeper and sold off the butter
cups and in return bought the household goods like oil,
sugar, tea bags, soaps, etc. and returned back to the village.
Once the farmer went away, the shopkeeper started keeping
the butter cups in the freezer. Just then he thought that, why
not weigh the butter cups? To his surprise, the cup weighed
just 900gms. He then weighed the other butter cups but all
were weighing 900gms. He felt cheated.
The next week again the farmer came to sell the butter to the
same shopkeeper. As he stepped into the shop, the
shopkeeper shouted at him. “Get Out” I don’t want to deal
with a cheat. You sold me the 900gms cup of butter saying
that it weighed 1Kg. I don’t want to see your face.
The farmer, then with humility said, “Sir, don’t be angry with
me”. We are poor and helpless. We don’t have a weighing
machine to measure the cup as we can’t afford it. The 1 kg
sugar that I take from you always is what I put in one side
of the weighing plate and put the same weight butter cup in
the other weighing plate.
Moral of the story: Check yourself before you blame others.
I am sure that this story has conveyed the message that what
needs to be done with the self before we can expect change
from others.
needs to be done with the self before we can expect change
from others.
4 changes which can help bring the change
1) Change your company
They say a man is known by the company he keeps. Having the
company of the right people is very important. Getting
influenced these days is very easy so we need to check if the
company we have is, propelling us forward or is the anchor of
our life’s ship grounded.
company of the right people is very important. Getting
influenced these days is very easy so we need to check if the
company we have is, propelling us forward or is the anchor of
our life’s ship grounded.
Example:
You may be getting shouting from your mother every day for
coming late. You may also realize the same but when you are
with your friends, they will say, “You are a Guy and not a Girl.
Girls go home early. This is actually a negative influence but if
you want to change then no one can influence you. Also it
depends on which relationship you value more.
coming late. You may also realize the same but when you are
with your friends, they will say, “You are a Guy and not a Girl.
Girls go home early. This is actually a negative influence but if
you want to change then no one can influence you. Also it
depends on which relationship you value more.
A few other Relationships where this happens
- Boss and employee
- Husband and wife
- Teacher and student
2) Change your intake
What I mean by intake is the information you take in first
thing in the morning. The situations are not in our control.
What we can control is the intake that we get first up when
our mind is like a blotting paper, fresh and clean, looking
forward to a new day.
Listening to something positive or reading a good book can
be the best intake. Going for a walk and taking in fresh air
and sunlight are also other options which can be considered.
thing in the morning. The situations are not in our control.
What we can control is the intake that we get first up when
our mind is like a blotting paper, fresh and clean, looking
forward to a new day.
Listening to something positive or reading a good book can
be the best intake. Going for a walk and taking in fresh air
and sunlight are also other options which can be considered.
A Strict No-No can be (At least until 8 am)
- Television (Exception: A Spiritual/Religious talk)
- Newspaper
- Magazines (Exception: Spiritual Magazines)
- Novels (Exception: Autobiography of a Great Person
/Saint)
The reason is very simple. All the exceptions are going to
give you some positive input. If your mind is filled with
the positive input then anything you take in thereafter will be
information and not influence your mind.
give you some positive input. If your mind is filled with
the positive input then anything you take in thereafter will be
information and not influence your mind.
3) Change your Mindset
Changing the way you think can have some really positive
effect on your personality. This can be done with a few
affirmations when you wake up because the first few
minutes are crucial.
effect on your personality. This can be done with a few
affirmations when you wake up because the first few
minutes are crucial.
Affirmations Like:
- I am the best
- This is going to be my day
- I will bring a smile to people’s faces
- I will do no wrong
- I will do what gives me happiness without hurting
others
You can add more as per the situation and liking. I am sure
that the first 3 would be easier but the next 2 can be sometimes
easier said than done. Let’s look at examples in case of 4 and
5.
that the first 3 would be easier but the next 2 can be sometimes
easier said than done. Let’s look at examples in case of 4 and
5.
Example: I will do no wrong
Imagine you made a mistake in some MIS which had to be
submitted to the Higher Management. You made a mistake
which you are aware of but you pass the buck that the data
received was incorrect. The fear of getting shouted can make
you tell a lie but it’s better to be truthful. You may get shouted
at, but it will a) Improve your work ethics b) It will improve
the quality of your relationship and make it transparent.
submitted to the Higher Management. You made a mistake
which you are aware of but you pass the buck that the data
received was incorrect. The fear of getting shouted can make
you tell a lie but it’s better to be truthful. You may get shouted
at, but it will a) Improve your work ethics b) It will improve
the quality of your relationship and make it transparent.
Example: I will do what gives me happiness without
hurting others
hurting others
You called your subordinate for a meeting. In the past he
would have told you about a certain thing he intends to do
which he has not been able to do due to some personal
reason you may be unaware of. You do not share a good
rapport with him/her. Now you can either finish the meeting
and get on with your work or make a mockery of what he said
in the past. It may irritate your subordinate but he may not be
able to respond back with the fear of a revolt or losing his job.
Here we need to understand that all are humans with feelings.
We should try not to hurt someone and be aware of what we
speak. Tongue has no bones but it can easily break your
relationships.
would have told you about a certain thing he intends to do
which he has not been able to do due to some personal
reason you may be unaware of. You do not share a good
rapport with him/her. Now you can either finish the meeting
and get on with your work or make a mockery of what he said
in the past. It may irritate your subordinate but he may not be
able to respond back with the fear of a revolt or losing his job.
Here we need to understand that all are humans with feelings.
We should try not to hurt someone and be aware of what we
speak. Tongue has no bones but it can easily break your
relationships.
4) Take time with yourself
A man can be his own friend. I have read somewhere that it
is better to be alone than to be around with Negative people.
It does not mean that we avoid people. All we need to
do is understand what we are grasping from them. It is also
seen that when we look at someone’s weakness for very long
then it soon becomes a part of our nature. That’s why it is
important to spend time with yourself each day. 10 minutes
before sleeping is a good time.
is better to be alone than to be around with Negative people.
It does not mean that we avoid people. All we need to
do is understand what we are grasping from them. It is also
seen that when we look at someone’s weakness for very long
then it soon becomes a part of our nature. That’s why it is
important to spend time with yourself each day. 10 minutes
before sleeping is a good time.
What can you do?
- Look at yourself and remember the things which
were not so good and things which were good.
You could have had a bad day at work but there
could be something good. Learn to look at the silver
lining in the dark clouds.
- Think of what will you change tomorrow which makes
it a better day.
- Thank GOD for everything you have. After all, it’s the
best way to show gratitude to our Spiritual Father.
Changing oneself is a tough task but we have to start
somewhere. After all the best comes out only when
we move out of our comfort zone.
somewhere. After all the best comes out only when
we move out of our comfort zone.
WHEN THE GOING GETS TOUGH… THE TOUGH
GETS GOING
GETS GOING
Here’s Wishing you all the very best for a NEW YOU
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