Is your anger like Soda Water or Fevicol?

An interesting topic, you may have read about anger already.

Things like

•    Anger is bad

•    It causes blood pressure

•    It leads to heart attack

•    It can lead to loss of concentration, etc.

We know all this, don’t we? So we will not look at what you know but what you need to ponder upon.

The two items mentioned above i.e. Soda Water and Fevicol also needs a thought over.

Let’s look at each of the items and dive into our own outlook.

Soda Water

This is a drink which has a fizz to it into which carbon dioxide gas under pressure has been dissolved. When we open up the soda bottle, we see the gas fizzing out of it and the water being left inside thebottle. Soda has its ill effects on the teeth, which we use to chew our food before it goes into thestomach. The soda leads to the erosion of the teeth as it makes the teeth weak.

Fevicol (A well know glue)

It is a glue, which has been in the Indian market for a long time as a trusted brand to stick various things. It is a white adhesive paste which is used for bonding paper, cardboard, thermocol, fabrics, wood, plywood etc. It is known for its attributes like bonding strength, impact resistance, time to set, versatility, fire resistance, shock and vibration resistance, etc.

So we now know what both the items are so we can draw some comparisons to see why anger has been compared to both these items but let’s look at a small story on anger first.

A Short Story

There once was a little boy who had a bad temper. His father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the fence.

The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence. Over the next few weeks as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily, gradually dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence. Finally, the day came when the boy didn’t lose his temper at all. He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pulls out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper.

The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone. The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence. He said “you have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one.”

Moral: You can put a knife in a man and draw it out. It won’t matter how many times you say I’m sorry, the wound is still there. Make sure you control your temper the next time you are tempted to say something you will regret later.

I am sure that this story was an eye opener and will allow you to relate to yourself.

Soda Water Anger

We saw that soda is a fizzy drink which when opened puts out the gas and the water gets left behind. In the same way, when we don’t like something or something is not as per our expectation then we also have a burst of anger which spreads the vibrations of anger in the surrounding around us which restricts conversation and gives birth to stress.

Example:

You had to go out somewhere and you were depending on a family member. The family member was out and arrived home late. Now the first reaction on his/her arrival will be a burst of anger because they are late and it has disrupted your schedule. You had the option to take a public vehicle as the work was important but you decided to wait. Here, what created the reaction was your expectation or your dependence on someone.

Once this incidence was over, the person arriving late informed you that he/she had a flat tyre and it took time to get it repaired. Imagine yourself after you listen to this.

You will feel awful at how you just reacted without knowing the facts. I am sure you will say sorry instantly but what you have left behind is a fear of your reaction and a gap in your smooth relationship.

Fevicol Anger

You must have heard a slogan in the ads of fevicol which said: “Fevicol aisa jod lagaye, ache se acha na tod paye” (Fevicol sticks things in such a way that even the best effort can’t break the bond). This type of anger is very dangerous. You can say it’s like a Secret Agent which keeps a watch on every move of the person for which you have such anger. I am sure many of us would come in this category.

Example:

You were at the office and assigned some work. You did the work to the best of the ability but made some mistake which your boss noticed. Your boss called you and shouted at you in front of the team. It can be very insulting at times but you can’t react as he/she is your boss. Now, though you have not reacted on the outside, there is one thought which your mind has planted inside i.e. “Let the time come again and I will strike back” or “Before I leave the organization, I will ensure I will expose him or cause some harm to his image”. This is internal anger which is more dangerous as you are holding it back inside. Every time you see your boss, the thought of anger will appear inside. You will not even want to deliver the work given by him on time. You will not leave any chance of gossiping about him, no matter what.

Which is better?

If you ask me, I would say that in the short term the soda water anger in some cases is better as it’s a reaction of the moment but it dies down within a few minutes, hours or a day. While the short term anger may just be to explain someone something but you may not hold something back inside you.

In the other case, the fevicol anger is dangerous because you are holding back feelings of revenge which is a negative feeling that destroys your nature of love and peace which are the original nature of the soul. This is also a long time anger which can go on for months, years and in some cases even until you live.

Some tricks to avoid anger

•    Walk away from the situation

•    Count till 10

•    Take a deep breath

•    Go out for a walk

These are a few tricks you can use but the best option is

Practice Mindfulness/Meditation

Advantages of Meditation

•    It can lower pain levels by 57 percent. This is because
      meditation is found to lower activity in the primary
      somatosensory cortex, which is the part of the brain
      that creates the feeling of where the pain is located
      and the extent of the pain.

•    Meditation boosts the immune system

•    Meditation has been found to treat insomnia

•    Meditation increases concentration level

•    People practicing meditation regularly have thicker cortex,
      which is part of brain associated withmemory and decision-
      making

•   Guided meditation helps patients suffering from depression

•    It increases our self-awareness levels

•    It makes you a better listener

•    You will be more happier as you are more calmer

•    It helps you increase your confidence

If you become self-aware then, you will be able to control your reactions. Anger is nothing but the reaction to a situation. You can’t change the situation but you can definitely change your response.

The biggest expenditure that people face these days is health expenses. Now if you learn to control your anger and leave the negative feelings rather than live with it, you will be much happier.

Let your D-Decisions not lead A-Anger otherwise, it becomes DANGER.

Do let me know what you feel and share if it can be useful to someone.